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Case Histories
This page is a compilation of correspondence from readers of this website. It contains stories of human suffering and government abuse which goes ignored by the mainstream media.
With these case histories, we mean to create and make public a record of the widespread injustices of America's family law system. For the first time, NCPForce! is giving a voice to divorced dads and other non-custodial parents whose lives have been ruined by impartial laws, corrupt and abusive judges, and discrimination at all levels of our society.
To tell us your story, please fill out our convenient form.
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To find personal stories from your area, please click on the state abbreviation links below.
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Arizona
Gov't Demands More Support Than Income
"The state of Arizona has ordered $40,000 in arrears and $18,000 for repayment of TANF. They are charging me $689 monthly, $400 in arrears monthly. They also are garnishing my check and my income taxes. I have lost several jobs because I could not afford to go to work. They are charging me $1,091 a month even though I presented proof of making $1,062 a month in income. They refuse to hold the mother accountable for perjury or give me parenting time adjustments. The judge did not care about visitation and CPS have went out of its way to deny me rights even though I have done nothing wrong and the mother has violated several laws concerning CPS and the juvenile court system. I cannot afford a lawyer and they know it. They keep sending me correspondence telling me they are going to seize my car and jail me if I don't pay. They are only doing this because I filed grievances against them and I cannot afford a lawyer."
-- MTS
California
NCP Remembers Abuse of His Own Father
"Dear Father -- Forty-four years ago I was six and you were my daddy: I loved
and adored you for you were the best daddy that a child could hope
for. You had infinite patience, seemingly infinite knowledge and
made me feel supremely secure in your presence even in the perilous
Nevada desert where we lived.
One year later I was seven and no longer had a daddy; no
longer had love or security. My mother had taken me from you
through divorce; thereby depriving me of all that you had to offer
in such great measure.
You are no longer of this world but I am writing this letter
anyway because I feel a compelling need to say what I lacked the
understanding to say while you were of this world. I also hope
that my writing of my experiences as a child of divorce may help
deter other mothers from inflicting this insidious form of child
abuse upon their own children. I also feel great guilt for not
acknowledging, during your lifetime, the great pain that you also
must have felt upon our forced separation. I did not understand
the agony that you must have experienced until I too became a
father and had my child taken from me through divorce.
For the first six years of my life I was with you constantly
as you roamed the deserts and mountains of Nevada. During those
six formative years you instilled in me qualities which would serve
me well for the rest of my life. You instilled in me a sense of
wonder, an appreciation of beauty, you were my idol, a standard
against which I could measure myself. The older I get the more I
appreciate what you gave me those first six years and the more I
lament that it was only six short years. I became very strongly
attached to you; so much so that my separation from you was very
traumatic. After divorcing you, my mother took me, moved far away
and married a cowboy just out of prison for murder. She
desperately needed a man to control me because she was no match for
my rebellion over being kept from you. My longing for you was
never broken in spite of my stepfather's efforts to beat me into
submission. My new stepfather was a product of a broken home
himself, which may help explain his many vices which stood in stark
contrast to your many virtues. After the divorce I seldom ever saw
you because of my mother's desperate efforts to destroy my love for
you. Her efforts only succeeded in destroying any love I may have
had for her. Besides a childhood spiritually impoverished there
was also material poverty. My mother never missed an opportunity
to remind me that you refused to pay child support and she blamed
our poverty on you. Even as a seven-year-old I knew deep down that
the reason we were poor was because my mother refused to let you
care for me. Had you paid child support it likely would only have
bought more whiskey for my stepfather, causing him to beat me even
more. In any case, your paying child support could not have
compensated in any way for the spiritual impoverishment occasioned
by your forced absence.
Nearly forty years later, when my wife divorced me and took my
daughter: I was devastated. I then felt a desperate need to know
how you felt when I was taken from you, so I went to the courthouse
where my mother sued you for divorce. There I looked up the
records of the divorce. I was apprehensive, not knowing what I
might find in those dusty records. I was very greatly relieved to
discover that you had vehemently opposed the divorce and that you
had fought very hard to preserve our family and to defend our
rights as father and son. My life long suspicion, that my mother
had been lying to me about you, was confirmed. One item in the
court order that caught my eye was that the judge had ordered you
not to ever discuss the divorce with me and you never did; to my
detriment, for I spent forty years doubting my faith in you. But
by what you had prudently put in the public record I finally knew
for certain that you were indeed worthy of my adoration, but now I
feel an even deeper sense of loss for not being allowed to
benefit from your great love and wisdom.
I can find only one fault with you: you and most of the other
divorced fathers of your generation did not oppose the kidnapping
and extortion resulting from divorce with sufficient force to put
an end to such barbaric practices. Rather, many of your generation
actually rewarded such atrocities by paying attorney fees, alimony
and the most pernicious of all, "child support". The result was to
encourage lawyers and feminists to take your grandchildren from
your sons. I am ashamed to admit that my generation of divorced
fathers, including me, are no better. We, the fathers of divorced
children, are now so numerous that if we spoke as one we could
force an immediate halt to the atrocities committed "in the best
interest of the child". But alas, no single, strong voice rings
out in defense of our children with the likely result that your
grandchildren will suffer the same fate."
-- JK
Child Support Collection Ruins String of Jobs
"In the beginning of my battle with child support, I lost my job and had all kinds of problems with them adjusting my paycheck deductions for support and it didn't stop with one employer. The problems continued with payroll at my next job and I was told that I took off too many times at work to go and get legal matters straightened out. I was let go and they replaced me with another person. This was horrible. Every time I got whacked by child support, I went to work terribly upset and it ultimately lead to me losing 2 or 3 good jobs.
I started a temp job through an agency and was told it was temp to permanent and that the permanent job required 30% of my time traveling to Taiwan and China. I started the temp position knowing that I would have to quit when they were going to hire me direct. This was very difficult for me to quit because of manufacturing engineers were in less and less demand in the United states. Very very upsetting.
I contacted my county family court via an email and sent them a letter wanting to request a hearing to make a compromise of arrears payment. At that time they said I could not get in that program because of a current child support payment. All I had been paying on was the arrears, but all of a sudden the custodial parent used the department to collect non-welfare child support from me. She didn't ask me if I would pay her support, she just went to the state to get current support deducted from my paychecks. The county said I could make an offer to her and also would have to pay in full the amount owed to the state within 30 days. This is the only way I could get in the arrears compromise program."
-- Backfor
Colorado
US & German Govt's Abuse Serviceman
"I am going through a very complicated issue with my ex girlfriend who is a German National. My ex girlfriend is a 36-year-old woman that still lives at home with her parents. She got pregnant two weeks after we started dating and immediately demanded I buy her an apartment. When I wouldn't do that, she demanded we get married. I told her I only knew her a few weeks and we needed to take time before we jumped into something like that. She flew off the handle and refused to see me for months, and then she showed up at my work and started screaming that I abandoned her.
This insane behavior continued over and over the next few months, then she ceased all communication once again. I tried calling her when the baby was due to no avail; I finally got a text message giving me the stats on the baby girl. I asked to see my daughter, the mother refused.
Almost a year goes by from the time she got pregnant and I moved on with my life and got married. After I came back from my honeymoon I was asked to come over to the house to see my daughter. To my surprise, she had told her whole family she and I were engaged and she was wearing a fake engagement ring. I pulled her aside and told her I just got married and that's when hell began.
I am constantly harassed at work, I am paying too much child support and she constantly lies to the army stating that I didn't pay her, now she has gone to El Paso child services and has them garnishing my wages even though I have every single receipt of mailing on time. The El Paso child services has completely ignored my rights as an American citizen and has sided with a German national that I have multiple stalking orders against
To add insult to injury, she has now served me via the German government to pay her alimony even though we never lived together and were never married. She wants almost $1200 per month in alimony on top of the child support.
What makes matters worse; she won't allow me any contact with my daughter; no photos, no phone calls, no visits. And I have to put up with the constant lawsuits, harassment, and threats.
I am at the point now I want to go public and every conservative talk show host to show how an American soldier can be harassed by a national of another country and our own county wont give me the decency to defend myself. You may see this story on Fox one day. Its bad enough getting screwed my a foreign government but worse when your own tries to do it to you."
-- LMS
Delaware
Family Court Abuses Homeless Vietnamese Vet
" I am a Vietnam veteran and I was recently in a homeless veteran's shelter, disabled by a broken heel and working as best I could. I had been out of work for almost a year recuperating and found work with some temp agencies. Needless to say my back child support from two marriages caught up with me and I found myself before the judge. I explained my circumstances: that I was homeless and in a shelter, and that this was the reason I was behind on support. I also explained that I still wasn't certain that one of the children was really mine. The judge informed me that if I came back to his court I would be put in jail and he raised my commitment from $160 a month to $250. I'm still homeless."
-- CE
Florida
License Seizure Makes Matters Worse
"First they set my support too high and then when I fell behind they took my license. Now I can't get a job without a license and keep falling further behind. I want to pay but can't work. What do they want, for me to go to jail or ruin me forever? If I can't get a job I can't pay!"
-- MM
Ruined by Mortgage Industry Collapse, State Has No Mercy
"It was the peak of a mortgage balloon and I lucked out by making $65,000 that year. That was also the year my child support was based on during a divorce. Since then, my income has been in a downward spiral to less than $30,000 a year. I have had numerous meetings with child support officials only for them to tell me the mortgage industry is a seasonal career. Two years later and over $15,000 behind on child support payments, I am going deeper and deeper in the hole. I am 30 and I hitch a ride to work everyday because I can't afford a car, and I live with my parents with my new wife. I am sure I will soon be put in the old slammer. My wife and I have the kids 50% of the time and have to take care of their needs as well. The kids are so happy that they have a expanded family and I am sure they don't know about the monster that will soon tear our loving family apart. Meanwhile, my ex is driving a brand new car and living life up. Now why I understand why my real father skipped out on me and let my stepfather adopt me."
-- JR
Gov't Seeks Child Support For Abusive Custodian
"Since 2005, my license has been suspended while I fought in another state to regain custody of my son, who's custodian (not a biological parent) was arrested for the rape of another child. I was cited for driving with a suspended license in that state, because I stopped child support payments to the custodian and Florida suspended my license.
I got back custody of my son, and was forced to move back to Florida with him. But we lost everything. We only had clothes and some documents. In April 2008, we started with nothing. I had to bike to two jobs and still pay child support to the spouse of the arrested former custodian who claimed I still owed arrears, and she claimed current support reporting to GA/CSE that she still had custody of my son. I cleared most of that up in one day in CSE court last March, and my driver's license was returned to me ... provided I pay a$240 reinstatement fee. I still cannot pay it and I am STILL riding my bike (to only one job now).
The terrible thing here is that my son's biological mom lost custody of him at 1-year-old, because her new boyfriend, an ex-con beat, him up. Then I lost custody of him because a Guardian Ad Litem told the judge I was negligent, because I couldn't get my son's immunizations on time (he had chicken pox, and the pediatrician wanted to wait 90 days to get his immune system back up). He was then placed with my brother and two consecutive wives who exploited my son for undeserved SSI benefits over a period of 11 years. When I did get my son back, he was 15-years-old, 5'11" and only weighed 103 lbs. The wife of the custodian had my son arrested because she read an e-mail claiming I was conspiring to kidnap him (the court ignored the charges and released my son to me finally after 12 years).
Still, the biological mom was never made to pay or even go to court, as she went on to have to other children by the man who beat my son. Because she is on AFDC and food stamps for the other kids who are still minors, she will not be made to pay. Because of that, I had to take my son out of school and put him to work. It is so unfair to him ... but in the midst of all that, what sense does it make for a state to suspend a NCPs license KNOWING they are already struggling to be responsible parents. I'm 51-years-old, and I don't think we will fully recover from this. We have no relatives left to help or support us. If my son and/or I miss a paycheck ... we are dead in the water. "
-- LR
Georgia
Cycle of Gov't Abuse Leaves NCP with $5 From Paycheck
"My passport, driver's license, and freedom were taken away. I've also spent time in jail twice. I was beaten down so badly that depression and an inability to get around took all chances away from me being an active father. Jail messed my head up even worse. I felt like my kids were better off without a loser like me in their life. Finally, after spending some time homeless, I swallowed my pride and went to a homeless shelter who put a roof over my head and fed me and I found a decent job. I walked back and forth to work until I found someone who would give me a ride and got a cheap apartment close to work. For the past two years with a lot of hard work I have tried to do the right thing, paid my current support, some on the arrears, and covered my kids with health insurance, until last week when I lost my job due to the economy. Many times, much more than the percentage allowed by federal law has been taken out of my paychecks. On one check, I was left with only $5. I worked a lot of overtime until it wasn't available anymore because of the economy.
Even after the first full year of not missing a payment, I was refused the return of my license and was told by the supervisor of the child support office that if I signed a voluntary contempt of court paper and raised my child support even more, she would release my license. I remain estranged from my kids. I've been gone so long I don't know how to get back into their lives. I want to.
Finally after I was laid off from my job I went back to the support office and got a man instead of a woman because my caseworker wasn't there; he released my license, but said he had no control of the percentage of child support coming out of my check being over the percentage allowed by the credit consumer act. I will get UI checks, but they will be reduced by child-support and I worry about being able to pay my basic bills to survive. There's no jobs here that I am currently qualified for and would allow me to pay both child support and my bills, and the simple fact that I won't be able to provide insurance could land me back in jail. What is the highest percentage allowed to be taken out of a UI check? Is it the same as a payroll check?"
-- CB
Illinois
Owner of Court Reporting Firm Uses Influence
to Harass NCP
"I filed for divorce in 1999. We had 4 children and I believed that we could get this over quickly and get on with our lives. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
I was married to a person that made her living as a court reporter that now owns one of the largest reporting and litigation support firms in the midwest. She has litigated me continuously for the last 10 years and/or just refused to follow the various orders of the court that apply if she feels that she doesn't want to follow them. Not once has she ever been taken to task for her behavior and instead the courts keep inferring that somehow I am to blame for this situation, and now what has happened is beyond the expectations of any reasonable person when they have access to all of the facts.
My ex has a habit of manipulation of mental health professionals that she took our children to, and would infer or fabricate things to engage them. She did the same with law enforcement making false statements about me to try and gain an advantage in the courts. I believe there are at least 5 or 6 attempts to obtain orders of protection that were never issued or denied after a hearing. She knows, as do many people, that the courts want to err on the side of safety and that making the allegation creates a host of problems for the person being victimized by the allegation and imposes an unreasonable financial cost to the person they target with little fear of being held responsible or accountable for bringing false allegations.
The latest action of the court shows just how out of touch or biased the bench can be. What precipitated the last action in the court was my former wife calling me on Valentine's Day 2007 and telling me to come get our youngest son. She was "tired of putting up with him", had "a new house and a new husband" and wasn't going to deal with him any more. School was out that day because of bad weather, so I drove the 180 mile round trip to get him. He had little but a small duffle bag with him.
I attempted to enroll him in school the next day school was open in my district, but was refused since I wasn't the custodial parent. Mom refused to sign any paperwork to allow it and kept telling the various authorities that fault for not getting her particular paperwork to her for a signature. After 2 weeks of haggling with various school district superintendents, they advised her that she would be charged for allowing out 12 year old to be truant and then she signed the material needed to get our son enrolled.
Now I need to get my child support to her stopped and have her pay her statutory amount toward our son. She leads a very extravagant lifestyle. She lives in a huge home, has a sailboat larger than many people's homes, takes frequent vacations out of the country, and rarely pays a bill with her after tax income. Most of her day to day expenses are paid by her various business entities. Even her attorney fees are paid by her business according to later discovery.
Now mom decides that she needs to contest me having custody! Imagine, she doesn't want him and then fights me having him! She actually said maybe he'd be better off in foster care. She engaged a particular guardian ad litem and created a huge pile of legal fees for the GAL and my attorney.
Next on the agenda is support. They had stopped my child support obligation to her pending a hearing to set support. Mom and her attorney refused to comply with discovery and provided doctored documents to establish her "income". I have a job where I get paid from one employer and have no benefits. Mom is spending on average over $30k per month out of her personal checking account and tries to convince the court that she actually makes less than $200k per year!
Recently, I received a letter from the GAL demanding I pay the half of her fees as per the courts order. Ready for this? She pays me NOTHING and I get to pay approximately $17k in legal fees to fix a problem that she created and continued! I make a gross salary of $60k per year and have no benefits whatsoever other than what I buy on my own. No retirement plan, nothing.
This stuff has been going on for 10 years and it's easy to see the pattern as it applies to men. Our daughter is still living with mom and as long as the son was with mom, I needed to pay. But the son now lives with dad and there is no support to allow the child to live in the same lifestyle as mom provides for the daughter."
-- WR
Illegal Alien Custodial Parent Files for Retro Support Before Breakup
"My problems all started one year ago when the mother of my children -- an illegal alien -- filed for child support. She was granted child support and now she's filed for retroactive support. She's asking for support since July 2005, and how is it possible for this to be happening if we went on bad terms in late 2008?"
-- JRG
Michigan
State Threatens Second Family of Military Reservist
"I'm a military reservist and I didn't get served the order for child support (originating in Virginia) until 3 years after the order was established. When I contacted Virginia child support authorities, they told me that it was too late to do anything about it unless I came to Virginia, which was impossible. I had no car, no money and no credit because they tagged my credit with the support order. I haven't been able to keep or get a job because of this. Now I owe $10,000 in back child support. My credit is ruined so I can't get a loan to pay it. I can't travel for better work because I don't have a car, or the credit, or money to get one. I've lost 6 jobs in 4 years because of lay offs and the economy. Right now I barely have enough to feed my 4-year-old son from a second marriage. My current wife and I aren't eating well and child support authorities told me "they don't care". I'm about to lose my job as a reservist because I can't travel to do it. I'm behind in rent. Utilities are about to be cut. My wife can't work because she is Canadian and so is my son, and even though he is my flesh and blood, I cannot even get food stamps just for him. My ex has cut off access to my other children. I'm about to end up homeless, jobless, and I don't know what to do anymore."
-- PG
Minnesota
Anoka County Aids Abuser
"Child support worker Alison J. Luebben along with the county of Anoka is working on behalf of a wife batterer and child abuser. CP has had a child taken from his care and custody by the police and put in long term foster care but that does not matter to Alison J. Luebben or Anoka county. They are still happy to collect even more money from the NCP on behalf of the abuser CP for the one remaining child he has left in his care and thus served NCP papers. Apparently, CP needs more money to make up for the loss of child support income he acquired after abusing his child when the child was taken from him and placed into foster care.
How in good conscience can these people live with themselves to work on behalf of a CP such as this? How is it that CP gets financially rewarded by the county for abusing his own child? Why is there no justice for neither I nor the child he abused?"
-- Oppressed in Anoka
Unemployed NCP Goes Finds Better Life in China,
Second Family Gets Abused by U.S. Gov't
"I believe that my rights as a United States citizen are being violated by my own government.
I am a natural born United States citizen living and working in Harbin, China, with my wife and three month old daughter. My daughter holds a United States passport, but my wife does not.
One month ago my passport was seized by the United States embassy here in China because I owe arrears to the state of Minnesota for back child support. I was given ninety days to pay what I believe to be an imaginary amount of money.
Three years ago I held a good paying job with the state of Minnesota, but because of circumstances beyond my control I lost my house, my car, and also my job. Soon after this I also lost my driver's license (because I could not meet child support payments). This put into motion a snowball effect because I was no longer able to find a job without a license and no longer able to travel four hours every other weekend to see my son.
Having no post high school education, I decided to take some courses online and get my teaching certificate and all of the credentials needed to teach English abroad and have a chance at a new life with a fresh start.
I have been in China almost three years now. Upon arrival, I didn't know anyone here and had to start from scratch. At present I have secured a good job and am finally able to support my family here in China as well as fulfill my obligation to my son in Minnesota.
The problem I am facing now is that I cannot pay all of my arrears in one lump sum to get my passport back and remain in China with my wife and child. However I would be more than happy to work out some kind of agreement with the state of Minnesota.
I firmly believe that the rights of myself and my daughter who is also a United States citizen are being violated if the state will not consider my own family and what would happen to them if I was forced to leave China. My wife is currently a full-time mother as our daughter is too small to have anyone else look after her. I am the sole provider for my wife and daughter, and if I was forced to return to the United States they would have no one to support them here in China. Obviously I cannot let this happen.
Also we had considered coming back to the United States as a family but obtaining the proper travel documents is a timely process and one which requires me to have a passport. So at this time it's not an option.
I should also mention that my son lives with his mother and her new husband very comfortably and is in no immediate danger.
I fully understand that I have an obligation to my son. I also believe that the state must consider my own family's circumstances and be reasonable and fair to all parties involved.
I strongly believe that these heavy-handed laws benefit few and cause much more pain and suffering than they are worth. I'm sure they were made with the best of intentions but there are obviously many things that had been overlooked.
With the economy being what it is and the debate over issues like health care and the housing market this has become an issue that gets little if any attention. This must change ..."
-- MK
New Mexico
Delivery Driver's Job Imperiled by Support Enforcement While State Collects for Teenager Living With Boyfriend
"The amount I was ordered to pay per month exceeds the wages I earn each month since I am a stay at home dad taking care of my new wife & my son; I work at night on a part-time basis as a delivery driver. On numerous occasions, I have called into NM Child Support Enforcement Division to have an adjustment completed to reflect my current earnings, but nothing has ever been adjusted. I have even notified my employer immediately to have 50% of each paycheck withheld for child support. I have been told by my case worker" that as long as I continue to have my wages withheld, my license will not be suspended. But On August 2007, I was on a delivery when I was stopped by a police officer and was told that I was driving on a suspended license. I had to call my case worker" and was sent a letter to take to the motor vehicles department to have my license reinstated since it had been suspended in error. I still had to show up at court later that month and had court fees to pay for it. Overall, the fines and reinstatement fees cost me over $100.00 for an error made by CSED, not me. Well, just this past Friday, I was picking our eldest son up from school and was stopped by the police officer who told me my license was suspended at the end of March. Here we go again. I couldn't work all weekend without a license. When I called child support, they advised me my license wasn't suspended and that I would need to call the Motor Vehicles Department. They confirmed my license was suspended with the same date as the police officer stated. When I called child support back, I was told my license was suspended because of $600.00 in arrears. This person became belligerent saying that if I made my payments on a timely basis, this wouldn't happen. How can I pay more timely when my wages are garnished? What makes this even more messed up is the fact my daughter, who I'm paying support for because she receives state-funded medical coverage, is 17-years-old and isn't even living with her mother. She lives with her boyfriend in a separate state."
-- JRDL
New Jersey
NCP Alienated From Children, Forced to Pay
for Ex-Wife's Post-Marital Financial Blunders
"I have been routinely punished without evidence, or evidence was deliberately suppressed or ignored without due process. Written evidence was ignored or turned around with obvious prejudice.
My home was taken without proper compensation per the final divorce contract. My children have been alienated with the assistance and approval of the family court system. Court orders I have obtained were ignored when violated by my ex. A judge -- Amy O'Connor -- publicly approved of my ex bringing an alcoholic (a man with a criminal record and history of mental problems who possesses many firearms) into our marital home. This was even prior to the final divorce and she allows him to live there for free, with no financial obligations such as rent, and he is living on my child support.
Additionally, Judge O'Connor replaced unreasonable financial burdens on me forcing bankruptcy and the dissolution of my business. I've also been forced to pay for ex-wife's post-marital financial blunders. She also cashed out the equity of our home without satisfying the obligations in the final divorce agreement, leaving me no hope of getting my scaled down portion. This judge has also refused to acknowledge
income discrepancies of my ex. A restraining order was issued without any evidence, without any reports of domestic violence, and no proof other than hearsay (bear in mind that my ex is a 2nd degree registered black belt and I am not)."
-- O.S.
Court Allows Child Move Away to Canada,
Continues Forcing NCP to Pay
"I would sincerely like to know, is the Middlesex County Court System merely a collection agency or is it the standard operating policy for them to blindly continue to collect child support and, if deemed necessary, issue warrants for arrest for unpaid arrears, but not follow up on the welfare of children on behalf of whom the monies are collected?
I am a frustrated father who is currently paying child support and have paid supposed arrears since 1998 for my both my children.
My children were taken, without my consent, out of the United States by their mother in 2004 and sent to Canada to live with a relative she barely knew. They had lived under absolute undesirable conditions, sleeping on the living room floor with relative of her family that had a one-bedroom apartment. During all this time there was no hiatus put on my child support payments. Instead, I was still expected to continue payments here in the United States regardless of my children being taken out of the country, regardless of my childrens' school confirming this by contacting the authorities, and regardless of DYFS having dispatched a caseworker to investigate the divergence. Nothing was officially done.
Furthermore, after numerous attempts and reprimands to have my children brought back to the United States, a warrant was issued for my ex-wife to produce the children. Then and only then, after an entire year of this farce, were my babies finally returned to the U.S. And were they registered for any school? No! Did anyone, including the courts or DYFS, do anything when again the school system informed them that my children were still not in school? Once more, a resounding, no.
I cannot comprehend how an entity that professes to function in the best interest of children fail to seek the well-being of said children under knowledge of adverse conditions but instead focuses on being a collection agency.
My ongoing nightmare gets worse as now my son has been sent out of the United States, again, by his mother, in contempt of the court's order and has been placed in school in the African country of Ghana. My daughter was reported missing since July 12, 2006 and I have only just been advised of this last October. All the same, child support payments are still paid into the system that has grossly failed my beloved children.
Both my kids now reside in Africa. But the mother filed for increase in child support payment."
-- T.B.
New York
Support Enforcement Denies NCP College Education
While Child is Moved Out of State
"I became unemployed and fell into arrears and later lost my driver's license. Because of this, I was unable to search for work, and had to skip enrolling at the community college to seek new job training because I live in a rural area, and the school is quite far. It's so bad, I even had to turn down a delivery job a friend offered me recently and now I am living at my parents' home trying to figure out what to do with my life. Meanwhile, my ex moved our daughter out of state and I haven't seen her in years."
-- LukeC.
Gov't Ignores Settlement for Arrears, Destroys NCP's Job
"I have an arrears settlement with my ex I have been paying. Part of the settlement states that there is not to be any enforcement. Not only are they enforcing, but I had a great job terminate me after they received a garnishment saying I'm a dead beat dad. They constantly garner wages, bank accounts, anything they can get their hands on. They claim it's arrears, but the agreement was to settle the arrears. I have written the judge, the child support agency, and all involved to no avail. I have had it with the abuse. How can I save the money for the settlement if I cant keep a job and a bank account?"
-- JR
Child Support Collection Causes Tax Troubles
"My 2007 tax refund was seized by NY Child Support due to arrears --no big deal I planned to use the funds to pay the amount off anyway. That was in March of 2008, and after several weeks of the funds not being applied and a half a dozen phone calls to the agency I was finally told that it takes six months for the monies to be credited to the account due to my filing status. Well the money was credited to the account on 1/20/2009. But, due to the funds not being applied or noted as pending on the account, my 2008 taxes were just seized for the arrears that were just paid off.
My ex-wife just got her check for $3000 and once again Child Support tells me that it will be months until the funds are applied to the account and once it is applied I'll have to be the one to request a refund from whatever amount is due at that time.
Why did this happen? Because they send notices to the IRS to intercept refunds in October of ever year but they do not send any updates to adjust those amounts after that point. Also they hold the funds for six months to allow a spouse (if you've filed jointly) to claim any portion due to them from the taxes held. But my current wife does not work and we even sent a notarized letter last year stating that she was not going to dispute and that the full amount should be applied to the arrears. That did nothing to speed up the process.
In these economic times I cannot afford to have $2400 held due to their mistake. But what can I do at this point? Not much."
-- NS
North Carolina
Child Not His, Yet Forced to Pay Support for 10 Years
"I was forced to pay for ten years for a child that was not mine. Mecklenburg County and North Carolina Child Support Enforcement denied request after request for DNA testing since the child was six months old. The mother would only let me see the child if she needed money or a babysitter. Eventually, I had to sneak around and pay for the test which proved I was not the father. During this time I was threatened with arrest on a number of occasions, one for less than 500 dollars. I would like to get a refund of the $40,000 this cost me over ten years."
-- GJ
Ohio
States Devours NCP's Minimum Wage Salary
and Wants More
"I am poor! When my children were born in Ohio, I made decent money as a drywall hanger and worked hard for my money. She decided to cheat on me 10 years ago and my life has been hell since then! Many times I have tried to contact the Ohio support office to have my support lowered, but my calls are never returned! I live in a poor state, where minimum wage is the norm. I can't work! Jobs around here pay $5.85 a hour. With my support coming out we would lose $500 a month and would bring home like $200! I would do the right thing if it were within my means. I am dead broke not a deadbeat!"
--Ron
Ex Lives Large While Gov't Harasses Homeless NCP
"I lost my license due to non-payment of child support while I was homeless. I became homeless after losing everything in my divorce (and my cheated on me!!!) But because I was not working I couldn't afford an attorney and my ex had a good one. I was able to visit my daughter for 2 years regularly until my driver died. My visits were not regular after this, so my ex's new wife was allowed to adopt my daughter. I still pay arrearages. My ex had me arrested once for driving to see her myself without my license. The police told me they got a "tip". My life has been ruined financially forever, while he drives a new Mustang."
--EJ
Passport Seizure Counterproductive
"My passport being seized has prevented me from earning income abroad, If I could travel I could work overseas and pay all of the $50,000 they claim I owe. My passport was seized last year."
-- RN
Texas
State Garnishment Endangers Family of Second Marriage
"My ex-wife signed a writ to stop all child support because my 17-year-old son dropped out of school and moved to San Antonio. We took the writ to the Brown county clerk's office and had the paper signed by the judge. They in turn sent this copy to the Attorney General's office. My place of employment stopped taking child support out of my check due to the writ. Three weeks later, they faxed something to my employer and started taking it back out again by overriding the judge's orders and without contacting me first. They also started penalizing me for it too, so now my child support has gone up. I keep getting letters from them that I'm over $2000 behind and that Christmas is coming, and that I need to "think about my child". Also, they asked the IRS to garnish my tax return. They are robbing me of my life. I have two kids here at home, 11 & 7 years old, with my new wife. We can barely afford food and live in a very small house. My ex lives in a nice brick home and drives a new truck. My lawyer made me pay him $500.00 for some sort of paper, and every time I call him he says just wait. Please someone help me before I lose my mind."
-- VJ
NCP and Ex Agree on Arrears -- Gov't Seizes Passport, Causes Job Loss and Second Marriage Stress
"Due to unemployment, underemployment, and other factors beyond my control over a period of several years, I fell behind in my child support obligations. Since then, my ex-wife and I have come to an arrangement to repay those arrearages, and I am actively paying her $500 per month towards them. This has not stopped the state of Florida (where she lives) and the Federal government from denying me the right to travel abroad. This has caused much anguish to myself and my new wife; it prevented us from going on our honeymoon to Cancun, and cost us hundreds of dollars in cancellation fees when we had to cancel our reservations to go there. Also, while it hasn't yet officially happened, I fear not having a passport is going to prevent me from gaining a particular job I want. This job, which would be a huge boost to my career, would require some international travel throughout the Americas. As I was laid off only a few weeks ago, I'll be in danger of falling in arrears even further, losing my home to foreclosure, and losing my wife due to the stress of it all."
-- W
Child Support Enforcement Leads to Loss of Job, Homelessness
"Due to child support arrears, I've been arrested three times on two jobs and have lost both jobs, even though they were taking money out of my paycheck for support. I've lost my second marriage, and I've been homeless for 2 years, sleeping in my truck or in motels. My children are adults, 21 and 19, and they still wont lower my child support. I make $9.00 dollars an hour because I can't drive anymore trucks because of the bad name I have for getting arrested on child support and the companies having to come get their truck out of impound. And they're still taking $500 a month from me leaving me to live on $728 a month to survive. I've been stripped of everything. I just lost my car because I can't afford to pay that, and insurance, and still live. I don't know how I'm gonna get to and from work, because the bus starts only stops here at certain times. I don't even have nothing to pawn anymore. I can't afford a lawyer. Please help me I'm begging you. My children were supposed to be a blessing; instead they were used as an instrument for revenge, a tool to send me to jail at will, and as a withdrawal slip to get money. My ex was the one who left me for another man."
-- JT
Called Obsessed for Wanting to See Child
"I've been kept from my child for 6 years and have been refused any help from the judge to get my visitation order enforced, or even be allowed to know where he's at and who he's living with.
My ex was jailed on drug charges 2 years ago and the judge still refused to give me a temporary custody order so I could find my child.
Me and my child's rights have been abused in the family court for years. I was even told I'm "too obsessed with wanting to see my child".
I've been in a severe depression and suicidal for quite a while now, due to being tortured that I can't see my child. I'm too messed up to even keep a job any more. I'll be in jail soon for child support arrears and that'll be the end of it.
I just need to know where my child is, who he's with, or if he's alive or dead."
-- LV
Virginia
No Credit for Being Good Father
"Me and my wife were married about 4 years ago, had a son, who is almost 3. I am a southern christian boy, raised with good family values, and did everything I could to uphold those values during my marriage. My ex-wife decided later in the marriage she missed going out and partying, leaving me home with my son on weekends, while she went to bars staying out until 6 or 7a.m. (bars here close by 2am). Eventually she moved out, even though I begged to make the marriage work. Within a month of moving out, she had a new boyfriend living with her.
She has custody of my son and I am required to pay $587 a month child support. I bring home $210 a week after taxes, after being let go by a car company 4 months ago. This leaves me with $283. I have rent and a very small car payment (the only transportation I have), and I am over $2000 in arrears after being out of work for 3 months before finding my new job (only work I could find). I am np being threatened with jail, property seizures, and all of the other things.
If I lose my home, or my vehicle, can I really hold a job while living on the streets? no! My ex-wife is a para-legal that files bankruptcies for a living. She makes about $450 a week, plus weekly bonuses, and lives in her sister's home, with her boyfriend. I currently do not get to see my son due to the arrears with a statement: "you don\'t help support him, you should not get to see him".
I did not choose to be removed from my sons life, I love him more than anything, so because my ex-wife decided to be a kid again, and not a spouse and a mother, she still gets full custody, I get no visitation, and I am being forced to become homeless. I can\'t afford to pay court costs, or attorney's fees, and therefore I am stuck in a hole that digs itself."
-- KB
Washington
License Suspension Counterproductive
"I'm self employed. Due the economy I've lost business steadily since last year . I have been current with support for years now. My daughter is almost 18. My license is suspended because I haven't been able to pay on the arrears. Makes a lot of sense: can't work , can't pay the bills. I'm tired of dealing with the workers at support enforcement. Not sure what planet they are living on. Must be nice to have a recession proof job like that."
-- N. Johnson
West Virginia
Squeezing Blood From a Stone
"For 10 yrs I have repeatedly been taken to court, jailed, and terrorized by the local 'child support enforcement agency by a program that repeatedly violates citizens rights and places them on the same level as criminals. It doesn't matter to any of the judges or policy makers. I was told that I must pay money I do not have. I was also told by a judge that he did not care if my family from a later marriage had to 'sleep under a bridge or go hungry'. If I had a job or a driver's license, they wouldn't have to enforce anything. The same tyrannical regime that took my license also destroyed our economy. The heart of liberty is under attack."
-- BT
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